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All posts for the month December, 2012
Seriously, Peeps – GO AWAY. You’ll taste just as bad in April, but at least then you will be seasonally appropriate.
When it comes time for the annual onslaught of Christmas and “Holiday” repackaging, we know not to expect too much in the way of effort. Add some red and green, throw a snowman on the front, but by and large, don’t expect too much effort.
Clearly, you don’t attain the high rank of Cap’n by doing the bare minimum.
Like he did with Halloween Crunch, Cap’n Crunch goes to the annual effort of a solid re-theme. Cereals used to do much more with Christmastime theming. Cookie Crisp turned its cookies red and green. Lots of cereals came out with “Winter” varieties. Winter Lucky Charms was made even somewhat recently, though I haven’t seen it in at least a few years.
Pebbles did a “Winter” theme for a while, but they will always be best known for their commercial, when it comes to Christmas efforts. I doubt there’s many people who were alive during the years it aired, who don’t remember the “‘Tis the season to be sharing, Fred.” commercial.
Despite other cereals’ attempts, no one has been holding it down come Christmastime like the Cap’n. Christmas Crunch has been around for almost twenty five years. That is dedication to the craft.
One of the more impressive parts of that long streak of production is sticking with the Christmas Crunch name. I get the concept of inclusion, and wanting people of all religions and such to be able to enjoy the mania in December. Or, more cynically (and more accurately), wanting all people to be able to spend lots of money in December. But if a company wants to make money off Christmas, at least have the guts to use the name.
Like Halloween Crunch, Christmas Crunch goes for a solid re-theme, but it only goes so far. You know to expect Crunch Berries, but with some different colors and shapes. That’s at least some extra effort – instead of just red and green Berries, we get red Santa hats, green trees, red stars, and, uh… green snowmen. Clearly, some accuracy had to be sacrificed for the greater good.
The box lists a number of activities you can do with Christmas Crunch – provided you already bought other products to use it with. Instead of “How to build a gingerbread house out of Christmas Crunch”, they suggest, “Buy a gingerbread house and just stick some of this stuff on there!”
Out of the three activities, stringing some Crunch together is probably the most simple, but I couldn’t be bothered with that, either. Popcorn stringing seems like something people probably stopped doing once stores were invented, where you could go out and buy decorations for the Christmas tree.
As you can see, there is a slight loss in detailing from packaged pieces to actual cereal pieces. But considering that just being able to sort-of see what a piece of cereal or marshmallow is supposed to be is considered a massive success for cereal, this fits right into that territory.
Unlike Halloween Crunch, Christmas Crunch makes no promises about coloring the milk. Although that’s not too surprising – it would either leave the milk blood red, or the same green that they already said was “Spooky”. So neither is a great Christmas option. Since the milk doesn’t really get colored by the dyes, they should just brag it will turn the milk “White as snow!”
So a round of applause for the Cap’n, for keeping his long-running tradition alive. If you stick an ornament in there as a cereal prize next year, this would improve its standing as one of the best Christmas products out there.
I’m well aware that M&M’s are not an exciting candy to read about. Actually, that’s just my opinion being turned around as a fact that I am accepting, but I’m fine with that.
Despite almost all of them being at least good, sometimes great, M&M’s are one of those “oh, okay, I guess” candies. Unless the M&M’s are plain or involve white chocolate, in which case it’s “No.” Not even, “No, thank you.” Just, “No.”
Based on my peripheral vision, M&M’s seems to come out with fourteen new varieties for each holiday. I’m sure some of those are just holiday-themed packaging for the regular flavors, but I have never actually checked.
My wife brought home a bag of the Mint Chocolate M&M’s, which didn’t seem like an impressive decision, but she also got Rolos so that made up for it.
I decided to give the M&M’s a try because, well, it’s candy and it’s in arm’s reach. And to my surprise, they are awesome.
I know these aren’t new, so many people already know this. But for those who haven’t tried them, or for those who already like them but need confirmation that their opinion is correct, there you go.
Their size and taste immediately reminded me of one of the best parts of going to a restaurant – those teal, pink, and other brightly colored mint chocolates you get by the door. They’re usually in packs or two or three. They are amazing, and their only downside is that they make you unhappy about the size of your pockets, once you have filled them with chocolate on your way out.
I don’t know if they are just the most popular, or actually have a copyright on “Easter-colored but not actually Easter candy” mint chocolates, but it seems that these chocolates are made by a company named Richardson.
When Googling to find out what these actually were, I got a mix of “Richardson After Dinner Chocolate Mints” and “Richardson Gourmet Chocolate Mints”. They’re all the same thing, but I guess with one you aren’t limited to when you have to eat them.
I didn’t actually see where you could buy the ones they have in restaurants, the individually-wrapped ones. I only found five pound bags. Which are good to keep around, for when you want five pounds of candy, but it does limit your ability to carry them around. Just having loose chocolate in your pocket, or even in a Ziploc bag, makes you look like a pervert.
You might be saying all this Richardson talk is beside the point. And you would be wrong. The Mint Chocolate M&M’s are awesome because they are nearly identical to the Richardson chocolates.
To speak more specifically about the M&M’s – they’re a little fatter than a plain, but don’t have that oblong peanut shape. Also, the packaging has the green M&M – the “sexy” one. Which is always a bit unsettling.
Although most of the M&M world is really disturbing. When the orange M&M is hanging out with the pretzel, how does that become a Pretzel M&M? Does the pretzel impregnate what is clearly a male M&M?
Or when the red M&M sees the brown M&M at a party, and proceeds to rip his skin off?
So given the deviance of the M&M’s world, the green one standing next to a pole with two snowballs right near the bottom of it, that has to be something else going on. Especially because that snowman looks a little too happy.
Also, if you notice that they used M&M’s for the snowman’s eyes and buttons, you’ll realize that is a really small snowman. Where did they get a carrot that size? These are important questions.
Creepy, chocolate-sex theming is somehow not the most wrong thing about the packaging. The M&M’s pictured on the package have a green “M” stamped on the candies, while you can clearly see that they are actually stamped with a silver “M”!
Even with this flagrant false advertising, I was still able to enjoy them. Hopefully, you will be able to as well, because they are awesome.
Go away, Peeps. Stop barging in on Halloween, Christmas, and whatever other holiday you can dye and morph your disgusting marshmallowiness to fit. You already try to ruin Easter, showing up in my basket uninvited. I don’t want this crap wasting space in my stocking.
Diet Coke-Babies 