Diet Coke-Babies

I’m well aware that M&M’s are not an exciting candy to read about.  Actually, that’s just my opinion being turned around as a fact that I am accepting, but I’m fine with that.

Despite almost all of them being at least good, sometimes great, M&M’s are one of those “oh, okay, I guess” candies.  Unless the M&M’s are plain or involve white chocolate, in which case it’s “No.”  Not even, “No, thank you.”  Just, “No.”

Based on my peripheral vision, M&M’s seems to come out with fourteen new varieties for each holiday.  I’m sure some of those are just holiday-themed packaging for the regular flavors, but I have never actually checked.

My wife brought home a bag of the Mint Chocolate M&M’s, which didn’t seem like an impressive decision, but she also got Rolos so that made up for it.

I decided to give the M&M’s a try because, well, it’s candy and it’s in arm’s reach.  And to my surprise, they are awesome. 

I know these aren’t new, so many people already know this.  But for those who haven’t tried them, or for those who already like them but need confirmation that their opinion is correct, there you go.

Their size and taste immediately reminded me of one of the best parts of going to a restaurant – those teal, pink, and other brightly colored mint chocolates you get by the door.  They’re usually in packs or two or three.  They are amazing, and their only downside is that they make you unhappy about the size of your pockets, once you have filled them with chocolate on your way out.

I don’t know if they are just the most popular, or actually have a copyright on “Easter-colored but not actually Easter candy” mint chocolates, but it seems that these chocolates are made by a company named Richardson.

When Googling to find out what these actually were, I got a mix of “Richardson After Dinner Chocolate Mints” and “Richardson Gourmet Chocolate Mints”.  They’re all the same thing, but I guess with one you aren’t limited to when you have to eat them.

I didn’t actually see where you could buy the ones they have in restaurants, the individually-wrapped ones.  I only found five pound bags.  Which are good to keep around, for when you want five pounds of candy, but it does limit your ability to carry them around.  Just having loose chocolate in your pocket, or even in a Ziploc bag, makes you look like a pervert.

You might be saying all this Richardson talk is beside the point.  And you would be wrong.  The Mint Chocolate M&M’s are awesome because they are nearly identical to the Richardson chocolates. 

To speak more specifically about the M&M’s – they’re a little fatter than a plain, but don’t have that oblong peanut shape.  Also, the packaging has the green M&M – the “sexy” one.  Which is always a bit unsettling.

Although most of the M&M world is really disturbing.  When the orange M&M is hanging out with the pretzel, how does that become a Pretzel M&M?  Does the pretzel impregnate what is clearly a male M&M? 

Or when the red M&M sees the brown M&M at a party, and proceeds to rip his skin off?

So given the deviance of the M&M’s world, the green one standing next to a pole with two snowballs right near the bottom of it, that has to be something else going on.  Especially because that snowman looks a little too happy. 

Also, if you notice that they used M&M’s for the snowman’s eyes and buttons, you’ll realize that is a really small snowman.  Where did they get a carrot that size?  These are important questions.

Creepy, chocolate-sex theming is somehow not the most wrong thing about the packaging.  The M&M’s pictured on the package have a green “M” stamped on the candies, while you can clearly see that they are actually stamped with a silver “M”! 

Even with this flagrant false advertising, I was still able to enjoy them.  Hopefully, you will be able to as well, because they are awesome.